The Tweets of 2015

Hello. This page reproduces many tweets I made in the year 2015. Where there were multiple tweets in one day all the words are joined together with asterisks marking a change of topic. There’s general themes which fit some of the posts. I tried to remove all the wrapping around each tweet to let the words flow more quickly, if a bit scatterbrained. Many but not all links are dead. There’s a lot to fix up! I will keep cleaning up this mess and make notes as time permits.

Jan 1, 2015 Gardening
The War Against Snake Plants 2014-2015.
2014: Snake Plants Cut Off Access To Shed. War. Ferns Align With Snake Plants. NYE 2014 The Tide Turns. Succulents Liberated. 2015: Dreadful Carnage. The Dead and Dying Fill A Large Garbage Bag.

Jan 2, 2015
“…not just young but tended to be affluent and male, the ‘new mainstream’ in ad-speak…”
Yeah. Dorks. Here comes the ‘new mainstream’ = the old mainstream around the late 1950s. Also led by boys buying action figures.
*The Yamaha FS1r at $4000 is bullshit.
*Sure it’s hard to get a job from a fine arts degree. But try getting a job in pure mathematics. Or pure science? ‘STEM’ is a fat lie.

Jan 3, 2015 Music
*It’s not so much as I’ve finished this album as we’ve both lost so much blood that it’s been called an armistice.

Jan 4, 2015 Music
*Hey, copies of Since The Accident and Slab Horror vinyl are slowly reaching the bottom of the crate. So don’t put it off ’til 2016.

Jan 5, 2015 Music
*Downloads of Since The Accident and City Slab Horror back on sale. But never forget that smooth chocolaty sound of metal on plastic.

Jan 6, 2015 University Work
I YELLED OVER THE TOP OF THESE PEOPLE FOR SEVEN HOURS AND NOW THEY WANT TO STUDY YELLING WITH ME NOW I AM MUTE
Incidentally, a good photo of the group of people seeking study in engineering / media. Not the stereotype.

Jan 7, 2015 Synthesisers
Why hello there 75% discount. You’re looking nice today.

Jan 8, 2015
I can imagine that when the Catholics were burning Cathars alive etc. most Christians felt like most poor bloody Muslims do right now. These are the bad guys.

Jan 9, 2015
If everyone is going to post cartoons then I am going to post the first one, from Ulm about 40,000 years ago.

Jan 9, 2015
HEEEEERE CHOOK CHOOK CHOOK! HEEEEEEERE CHOOK CHOOK CHOOK! HEEEEEEERE CHOOK CHOOK CHOOK! CHOOKY CHOOKY! https://www.theatlantic.com/photo/2015/01/a-world-transfixed-by-screens/384296/#img27

Jan 10, 2015
Attractive young families in nice houses interact with {latest IP} and show teeth in wide smiles as {latest IP} enhances quality time. Girl captures 3D image of boy in {latest IP} and streams it to mom. Everyone opens their mouths showing teeth. They are connected. Neatly bearded man ignores paint pots and brushes, waves finger in air making future art on screen. {latest IP} augments cultural making.

Jan 12, 2015 Doctorate
*There are 12 star signs only because sin(30 deg)= .5 is the only rational and the Babylonians could draw that. Not a good taxonomy. Babylonians get a fail on factorial analysis. BTW my star sign is Egg. What’s yours?
*Today realised that a music festival in Chicago coincides with a two week non-teaching period late September. Its … feasible.

Jan 13, 2015 Doctorate
Set out the dates on an XL sheet, which reveals all kinds of horrible correspondences. The Theosophists and the Telephone same year. Fox Sisters holding seances while Wagner is writing ‘The Artwork of The Future’. A porridge of spiritualism and modernism. There is no such thing as a clean historical narrative. A maelstrom of mind fucking coincidences. There’s a limit to how much more of this shit I can read today.

Jan 14, 2015 Doctorate
Another full day wading through sloppy piffle. When an article listing the plagiarism in a text is many pages long you know you are on to a corker. This one steals 4 pages at 1 point.

Jan 15, 2015 Music
*Bloody hell an image dump from David Courtney re the new Vinyl On Demand box. I don’t remember any of this. Senile.

*On top of the doctorate, new album, bunch of vinyl, possible US tour I’ve now got a visual music installation because laziness is sinful
*Oh yeah also got to perform at @dj2mn’s ‘electronic wank’ club night, must not forget that.
*This looks like mid 1982. As well as Cheesecake it mentions the HAPPY DOGGY CONSUMER T-SHIRT. This was real. Bradbury in HAPPY DOGGY CONSUMER T-SHIRT

Jan 16, 2015 Doctorate
I am bit too stupid to understand http://t.co/ka9gYO5BhK but I gather it means that any advice has a positive in machine learning?
He used poetry to teach machine OCR, that should work for personality and video retrieval?

Jan 16, 2015
Google Glass
has died in the ass.
Owners are pissed
but it won’t be missed.
https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-30831128

Jan 17, 2015
Alex Malarkey. Best name ever for Christian bullshit artist.
https://www.smh.com.au/world/alex-malarkey-author-of-the-boy-who-came-back-from-heaven-says-he-made-up-story-20150117-12sa3j.html
*The Sweet Soothing Sounds of “The Walrus”, as applied to Othello by Wm. Shakespeare.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9JY0BhDYfw
*An article that explains sadly why ‘visual music’ will never be music, lacking a mnemonic retrieval function. https://nautil.us/brain-damage-saved-his-music-235221/

Jan 18, 2015 Bruce Springsteen
An eerie silence as my neighbour doesn’t play “Bruce Springsteen Live” all Sunday. Perhaps he’s dead? It’s unnerving I tell you. Suddenly realise all my music has the inverse of “Bruce Springsteen Live” in the frequency spectrum. Do I put him in the credits? In lieu of Bruce, we have 2 gentlemen in dispute. It seems that one gent disapproves of the other gent’s philandering, with a how dare you? Castrato disapproval, along with furniture in flight has gone on most of the day. You think it’s over but another chair goes flying. Never a dull moment in Surry Hills.

Jan 20, 2015 Music
*All I want to know from NAMM is Roland System 100 plug out? Yes/no. Screw all this 70s analogue bullshit.
*Cooking my dinner with the righteous anger of Gearslutz comments on the new giant $35,000 Moog walruses. The caterwauling of massed dorks that demanded the highest quality analogue modular nonsense and were then given it.
*”Who is this guy Jesus Charlie?”
*Terrence Malick’s “Tree of Dainty White Folk Wander Slowly Around Pretty Scenery And Muse About A Bunch Of Airy Fairy Shit.” “Tree of Life” will be 1000% better when I edit Yoda from Star Wars into every scene.

Jan 23, 2015
Write it like I$I$ – says it all.

Jan 26, 2015 Music
200 USB sticks. Checkout guy says “Do you need a bag?” Got a lot of RHINE dubbing coming up this week.

Jan 27, 2015
@YouTube’s music match feature is like a drunk guy in a pub. YouTube wrote that as the dispute over the video I uploaded today wasn’t resolved within 30 days it’s been cleared. Also, time travel.

Jan 28, 2015 Doctorate
The first image captured on a computer frame buffer. 1973. At the point in thesis where I touch on the ‘global brain’ or ‘cybiont’ theories, and you know what, I’ve enough fucking woo today. QUIT. In case you wonder, I’m trying to trace spiritualism in the arts, and New Media was all about the INFO GAIA CLOUD SPACE.

Jan 29, 2015 University Work
Frikken mac at work now incompatible with frikken mac at home can’t work on my frikken keynotes without new OS frikkit.

Jan 31, 2015 Music
*Going back for another large bucket full of USBs. It’s February tonight. I have printed all the maps. Nearly all the clues are placed.
*Holy fuck. At least for the moment Labor is actually winning the Queensland election. From holding 9 seats. For overseas people: Labor was annihilated last election – you could fit them in a minivan. But conservatives are just so DIABOLICAL… I truly hope the prime minister is enjoying his election day sausage.

Feb 1, 2015 Music
*Whoah … do people watch bandcamp with some app or something?
*None of the people that ordered the USB stick got their download. I am doing the mail outs manually while weeping. OK, so now I get to announce RHINE is available…. and that the cost of the USBs has been covered in five hours, so thank you for that.

Feb 2, 2015
*I call for all Australians to stand with Tony Abbott and keep him as PM until the LNP is a smouldering wreckage of twisted metal. Go Tony!
*I would like thank everybody again. Bandcamp have dropped their percentage cut, based on sales. Means a lot to an old cobbler like me. Please be assured it’s a frantic blur of USB sticks and envelopes around here. There are no cat hairs. Repeat, no cat hairs.

Feb 3, 2015
*Christopher Pyne speaking in the Gehry building, it’s like fractal dog turds.
Although if you really want annoy my Alma Mater, call it the “Flintstone House”.

Feb 4, 2015 Music
Sorry, USB drives all gone for the moment. BTW stop messaging me that you don’t like my dog avatar. It is my soul laid bare and your barbs are cruel.

Feb 4, 2015 Doctorate
Atlantic mentions there’s a good article in the New York Times of Nov 21st 1937. Which bloody page? It’s bigger than most novels.
Bingo. Also happy birthday Technicolor.

Same page, this looks a shitload better than The Tree of Life.

Feb 6th, 2015

Feb 8, 2016 Music
Good practice for the nursing home or prison!

Feb 11, 2015
*Item 8573 says that item 0381 disrespected item 4802 at the grammies when they demanded more respect for item 8813. All of these items are now available to smash repeatedly into your face. Why why why won’t people acknowledge the sheer creative genius of item 0381? They really are the new item 2819. Stream more, stream harder.
*Hitler is alive and programmed the Room Timetable System at my workplace. Seriously how many fucking million was spent by IT on this ORACLE deranged piece of useless shit that can never find a fucking room?

Feb 12, 2015
*Got a bunch more rioters at our darts competition. UK is well in the lead. America is way behind, not even -trying- people.

Feb 14, 2015
*A kickstarter to buy this insult to culture (Bye Bye Miss American Pie)and kill it with fire. https://www.theguardian.com/music/2015/feb/13/don-mclean-sells-american-pie-manuscript-saying-all-will-be-revealed + repeat chorus x100
*I disagree with Vint Cerf. Bit Rot -is- the record of our current civilisation, it tells our story very well. https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/feb/13/google-boss-warns-forgotten-century-email-photos-vint-cerf
*Somebody tell my Californian wife that no, a ‘higher power’ isn’t taking care of us, let alone the laundry which would be more useful.

Feb 15, 2015
“Lord Louis Gilbert is an Australian video blogger and YouTube celebrity with a net worth of 4.5 million dollars” that just got blocked.
*That small but significant difference between ‘social’ and ‘network’.
*I’d follow more, but already all the thoughts cloud my mind like the protagonist in “Scanners” (you know the feeling). Will Try Harder.
@plumindustries I AM SAVED!

Feb 17, 2015 University Work
*At work, writing a lecture on Kirk/Spock slash fiction and rapidly running out of the humour necessary to put up with the apologia. There are over 5000 fan written stories about Kirk and Spock putting tongues down each other’s throat. Christ, get over it.
*ONE thumb drive left! Now that’s going to sit there for 6 months. (I’ve got a handful stashed as replacements/bribes)
*Show Me The Mangle – the Flux:FX review. http://t.co/0Tz1t5yShq tl/dr – it is a Good Thing but wants more Belew.

Feb 18, 2015
*CPA Australia smokes crack, says a 15% GST is good for all, (so long as unemployment = 0 and you’re rich). https://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-02-18/gst-increase-would-leave-nation-better-off-cpa/6130664
“You see, if we raise tax on everyone, then buying investment property could be cheaper + reduce income tax at hi end” (pulls on cone). Meanwhile, waiting for Abbott to tell the USA that they too must not use death penalty on Australians, or face consequences. Dare you Tones.
@frenchbloke Party hard, Scotland.

Feb 19, 2015 University Work
@stobiepole JUNO 6 arrives at UNSW, Fine Arts professor gets all teary eyed about the one he owned, makes bwow noises annoying all.
@stobiepole I have to lock it in my office.
Hooray it’s pay day at work! Like most Australians, I am paid in lamingtons.

Feb 20, 2015 Synthesisers
*A bad artist is one where you hear their name and know exactly what they are going to do because it’s what they -always- do. Can you blame them for doing what the curators and audience demand over and over again? Actually yes. Being successful isn’t the point. Successful Artist … Tallest Dwarf.
*Have just discovered a remake of ‘Holy Mountain’ made entirely out of found footage of dogs. Mankind, you are capable of great things.
*Man in Melbourne lubricates 185 knobs. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-02-19/rare-doctor-who-synthesizer-ems-synthi-100-restored/6145180

Feb 21, 2015
Officeworks: “…how brilliant to be able to pull this up to your desk. Fill this Industrial Chic bookcase with whimsical stationery.” woo

Feb 22, 2015 Music
A ‘fan’ uploaded my whole album on YouTube. A wonderful creative and sharing world where everyone gets to be a distributor.

Feb 24, 2015
@earthrid Do keep up, we’ve known that for yonks. And BTW did you know that Boards of Scotland are from Canada?

Feb 25, 2015 Music
Invitation to tour with a Christian extreme sports troupe across the USA. If you think I should, reply YES.

Feb 27, 2015 University Work
*Based on the joy I’m having in my current management position and your advice I’ve decided to run away to the circus. Bye!
*It’s been so long since I’ve heard anyone use the word ‘cyberdildonics’ that I thought I would, just for old times sake.
*DAY ONE of the Extreme Circus Tour. I get to travel with all the other clowns.

Feb 28, 2015
Here is the latest news from Australia.

Mar 4, 2015 Music
It begins – software Modular Video Synthesiser. http://t.co/ikh9JM5CrW
*Holy shit, how does any overseas band ever tour the USA? The P1 visa conditions are completely insane. “Letters from Major Record Label Executives. At least 6 required”. “Platinum/Gold Ceritifications”. “Press as PDFs. 50+ pages”.
*Ever noticed similarity b/w the KORG and IKEA logos? I tightened 1000 nuts. I am now a MAKER.

Mar 6, 2015 Mardi Gras
*Love it when companies play ‘chicken’ with the university. Last time Apple pissed me off and we dumped Final Cut. Now it’s AVID. Actually yes, we are prepared to trash rooms full of M boxes if you drop support. No, I don’t mean buy new ones.
*I’ve never seen a government try rescue itself by rescuing a couple of heroin traders before. I guess it beats declaring war on Argentina.
*It’s that time of year where the local supermarket gets done up in rainbow flags and I Will Survive gets looped over the PA. Every straight person the area is now trying out their impersonation of ‘over the top gay I saw in a film once’. Because money. Just made it indoors before the curfew. Street now blocked by tourists wearing matching rainbow sombreros, and portaloos. For every two bears, five asian girls with selfie sticks, 1 sausage stand, 1 cop, three yobs and .01 external broadcast trucks.

Mar 8, 2015 Music
*I am selecting videos from a database and mixing them with an iPad over WIFI. I AM GOD. I AM THE LORD ALMIGHTY. Truly we live in times when a superior kind of man can tighten nuts and link up pre-built snippets of code.
*Another email ranting about ‘the Nettwerk sound”. By that I guess they mean Coldplay. After all NTWK’s biggest success.

Mar 10, 2015 Music
Oh there will be no latency or connection problems on stage with a laptop with one frikken USB port and WiFi everything else. Rock solid.

Mar 11, 2015 Synthesisers
*Fuck this shit. Feel free to add your own shit to the list.
*I’ve owned 2 Novation keyboards and now both have broken keys. That’s statistically significant as far as I’m concerned. Not happy Jan. It’s hardly like I’m Jordan Rudess with the damn things either.

Mar 12, 2015 Doctorate
I have programming problem that I am too dumb to figure out. If you have a moment, I am grateful for advice.
A kludge. That has to now be turned into cables and boxen.
All we have time for today! Thanks to @stobiepole and @qdot

Mar 15, 2015 Music
*Bandcamp says their artists have now made $100 million. That’s small for iTunes I guess but still seems a working ‘indie music’ model.
*”Looks like you’re designing a non-standard power connector. Would you like help dying in a fire?”

Mar 16, 2015
*A Bjork exhibition at MOMA. How will they be able to fit all that Twee in the one building? *I* am. an elllllllllllllllf! And I am singiiiiiiiiing to a basket FULL of PUP-PIES! (String section, kick drum through reverb, repeat)
*The Kylie/Kraftwerk rule: to be in a Proper Art Exhibition you must have dry cleaned all your costume changes.
*The good new is I probably haven’t lost my data. The bad news is it was on one of those WD MyBook shitboxes that scramble your data. Try read it on anything else and you get NO SIR NO DATA HERE. ONly solution – new WD MyShitbox. Whatever happens I am not losing my trove of cheesy mid 1990’s sample loops. They belong in a museum.

Mar 17, 2015 University Work
*I think I might grab a printout and wander away from my cubicle for the rest of the afternoon. Going to try this ‘manager’ thing out.
*Bought a generic HDD enclosure, got all my data back. Western Digital can go take flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.

Mar 19, 2015 University Work
*”Hi we are a young fresh startup that would like to exploit your students to get free media production. When can you come over?”
*FILM INDUSTRY TERMS for Media Production Students! (from @PPantsdown)

*I have used After FX since version 1 made by COSA and I have never heard it baa like a sheep before, is this the End Times? Asked Adobe and they said it’s not a sheep, it’s somebody making a sound like a sheep. OK that’s fine then, carry on.

Mar 20, 2015
*Mal Fraser has finally found his trousers.

Mar 21, 2015
KUBE visuals – audio driven MiG-25s

Mar 22, 2015 Music
It’s Sunday! It’s how-many-damn-record-labels-did-we-end-up-with-and-what-the-fuck-do-they-want-now day! EAR BITTEN and Clean this time. Let’s give EAR BITTEN the original hand sprayed cover! No? Definitely no? You don’t do that in Germany? Oh OK.

Mar 23, 2015 University Work
*Film news: camera company working on a larger image and more frames per second, most films still shit.
*I played the Windows 95 sound in an undergrad lecture today, No one recognised it. They weren’t born in 1995. Mind you I made a video with Ham The Space Chimp and I wasn’t born yet. The Space Chimp after Ham was called Enos. Not to be confused with Eno, who composed the Windows 95 sound.

Mar 24, 2015 Synthesisers
What’s a good small midi controller keyboard where the keys don’t fall apart like Novation keyboards, goddamnit? By ‘small’ I just meant not a MIDI surfboard. Looks like Arturia might be the go.
Thanks for all suggestions. Meanwhile might take a hacksaw to this MiniNova and make it into a MicroNova.

Mar 25, 2015
@andrewcb I remember being 14. it was goff.

Mar 26, 2015
*It’s only March and already ‘maker’ is in the lead as bullshit word to sprinkle all through your content-free CEO ‘big thoughts’. “Disruptive maker activist” = I peed myself halfway through my TED talk. Everyone applauded.
*Enjoying a favourite piece of music, while coding an app so that people can avoid paying for it. “Creative Industries”.

Mar 27, 2015 University Work
Well. Wasn’t that a full on charmer of a working week. Just top-tastic. Silk. Sweet as a nut. I guess at least Hitler didn’t invade Poland. Popular Surry Hills pub, Friday night. Jesus F Christ, never seen so many douches in the one place. Like I fell into an advertisement. “Oh what a surprise, I work at a startup for marketing applications for online synergies too!” (twiddles moustache). The place where the Inner City Sound once was. Now represented on German and American labels – the place itself a cultural wasteland.

Mar 28, 2015
*Just voted. The senate ballot paper is as bad as you imagined and it takes a while to put the homophobes last.
*Assembling a Terse Tapes compilation. Congratulations, you people have stupid band names.

Mar 30, 2015
@dj2mn my set is 32 minutes long is that OK?

Mar 31, 2015
@dj2mn you may stick them up in the designated freedom zones having completed the form
*Oh it must be a deadline. A bunch of Australian contributions are arriving all at once. Meanwhile UK artists are all in the tin. Meanwhile USA is all I’M TOO BUSY FOR THIS CAN’T YOU SEE HOW STRESSED I AM.
“I don’t know who you are or anything about this but here’s my compilation track.”
Cool.

Apr 1, 2015
Only just read what this ‘Tidal’ thing is about. I agree these people should get a bigger percentage of the no fucks I give about them. But if it hurts Spotify that’s great. It’s like Celebrity Bum Fights. n.b I have never seen a Bum Fight, but I always picture it as the peak of USA Libertarian Philosophy in Action.
Unless an extension previously arranged, compilation entry closes TONIGHT. Here is a band name you could use.
*Down at Starbucks, where you can get a Big Gay, Super Gay and Le UberGrande Flouncing Gay as All Heck, which I usually get.

Apr 2, 2015
Future Music Festival cancelled, seems that DJ fees now so high that it’s not worth flying them out to stand in front of their DAT machine. This calls for a franchise system. You buy the license to be DeadMaus in your local suburb. That includes a DAT sent out monthly + funny hat

Apr 4, 2015
*I wish Nick Cave would reflect on his great success and applause he has earned and drop the ‘poor little me’ face for fuck’s sake. He looks like the world’s oldest petulant toddler.
*Celebrate Easter in Style! https://www.themonastery.org/ordination

Apr 6, 2015 Music
*oompa loopma available in about 1 hour
*Well that used up my whole damn Easter. Shit.

Apr 7, 2015
*.@dj2mn hmmmm a Tangerine Dream tribute album you say? I can think of a few people who could lay waste to that. It wouldn’t be real TD tribute album unless each artist had to supply an entire vinyl album’s worth of music in two parts.
*Oompa Loopma version 1.0a. All track submissions are in place. The booklet is being updated (waiting on 2 revisions). Small corrections.

Apr 8, 2015
*Don McLean finally reveals ‘Bye Bye Miss American Pie’ as a terrifying warning of Oliver Stone’s movies.

Apr 9, 2015 University Work
*Adobe CC2015 – the ‘weird tangential features that no one asked for’ update. Like live facial tracking. Um, OK. Node compositing in CC2017? Premiere CC2015 has new ‘take out the boring bits’ and ‘morph over bad edits’ filters. Use each repeatedly, get video art, PhD sorted.
*How to make your band more popular than ever before: retire.
*I wish somebody would buy that MKS80 so I don’t keep being reminded of how I sold mine for food.

Apr 10, 2015
authentic
authentic KUBE decor
So if you could have Slide Projectors with cross fade or Slide Projectors with timers, which would you take?

Apr 11, 2015
Selling a SL1200 on eBay, three people messaged so far that they have cash and are in my area right now. But no bids. What’s the scam?

Apr 12, 2015
*You have to do a Hitler salute to read your mail on an Apple Watch. true/false? That would feel really weird. It’s be the wrong arm.
*Testing a miniRhine mock up. If it all works should be available in about a week? Mini booklet mock-up fits OK. If you want an original you’ll have to be @rasurc or come to KUBE gig.

Apr 13, 2015
Tell me again how USA doesn’t have royal families?

Apr 14, 2015 University Work
*At a strategic management retreat. At the beach. In a room lit with fluorescent lights.
This tweet coming to you from the 15 minutes outside for fresh air.
Back in cage. White boards and butchers paper await more great thoughts.
Still locked in white board hell. Never so many white boards. So many thoughts.
*The KUBE night before ANZAC day. Redfern. For all you people that like twiddly.

Apr 15
I hereby apologise for using ANZAC in a tweet, as it is copyrighted by the Glorify Organised Murder Corporation of Australia.
.@dj2mn Eurorack is just another world. More likely to go System 1m. More likely to go polyphonic than any of these though.

Apr 16
Very sorry but I do not choose the venues or the supports at any USA gig and there is no use asking me. All done by Chicago hosts.

Apr 19
Roland have added a dedicated cowbell oscillator to the System 1.
Dedicated. Cowbell. Upgrade.
Band practice. Band practice. Band practice. Band practice. Band practice. Band practice. Band practice. Band practice. Band practice.

Apr 20
The Spirit of ANZAC Centenary Experience : getting shot dead on a beach. Then rotting.
My grand uncle kept a diary. It stops dead the first day he joined the fighting.
Noble sacrifice my fucking arse.

Apr 21
I was just saying the other day how much I would like a cyclone to come smash the windows of my house and sit for days pouring in water. Keeps you from getting too uppity.
Got a nice email from the VC at work asking staff to GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE CANCEL ALL THE CLASSES YOU GONNA DIE PEOPLE. Thoughtful.

Apr 23
This is how everyone else does it, right?

KUBE setting up.

Apr 24, 2015
*My toilet is now the Centre of Excellence for Research into Urine flows. We expect ‘staff’ of at least disappointed 100 PhD students. There will be an ‘artist in residence’ that will perform computer visualisations of each slash. We hope to get a linkage grant for that. Obviously we need a snappy name, so it’ll be the Australian Confluence Institute.
*$5,500 Rapidly Goeth if you Buyest my Booketh (some long lost eBay thing)
This obviously isn’t one of the best things in life (some long lost eBay thing)
*OK I decided I want one of these. How much postage? If there is any doubt, yes I am drunk and on eBay and heaven help us all. TAXIDERMY MOOSE HOOF, BELONGED TO SIR HIGH DENISON, C1900 OK I decided I want one of these. How much postage?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBkWhkAZ9ds
Elvis Presley Marble Mosaic

Apr 29, 2015
@dj2mn Sorry I haven’t had a chance to send over a USB of the video, will be faster to hand over. It’s 5Gb.

Apr 30, 2015
How can I monetise this jingoistic shit? What about a T shirt with AUSSIE DEALERS R ANZACS? Need blood cash. What about surf trunks with AUSSIE HEROIN BATTLER and a comedy syringe picture? That might turn some bucks.

*As always, the Guardian Australia presents a considered and informed opinion on the matter.
*OK. So. It’s 9pm. Office work done. Now, how did that track I made 30 years ago go again? Thud bang clunk or clang thud cluck klonk?

May 1, 2015 University Work
1st year Media Arts have found my old band photos online. They always do. The next few lectures will be hell.

May 3, 2015 Music
*It’s crazy sad the number of live performance offers coming in from around the world, which never came when we were able to do them. All it’s doing right now is causing anxiety and stress, as things have moved on. Saying no, when it could have once been yes is sad.
*Only just noticed there’s a new version of Isadora, with projection mapping and modern video playback.
*Royal baby names: Chlorine. Womblina. Spici. Topsy. Annnn. reGina. Pilsner. Prince Albert. Aetherial. Chavette. Queenie. Poodles.
*That’s OK. Didn’t want play with Eno and Ash Ra Tempel anyway.
*Dropbox is ‘improving service’ by moving to a tax haven. ‘none of our services are changing’ except tax avoidance.

May 6, 2015 University Work
I’m just up, rearing, and ready to bound into that classroom and conduct a stimulating student discussion for 3 hours actually no I’m not. Better fall back on slight raising of eyebrow and hmmmm hmmmm that’ll hold ’em until I wake up.

May 8, 2015
Better that UK Labour lose now. The next term will be quagmire of trench warfare and disappointing novice MPs.

May 9, 2015
*University of Western Australia pulls out of Bjorn Lomborg centre http://t.co/kSKu3aOVNz
*Stretcher & Clifford albums have been retired from bandcamp in preparation for vinyl versions. Cheesecake offline, pending new version soon.
*Cheesecake download is back up, now in synch with the Dark Entries vinyl. Spending this arvo on Ear Bitten re-issue for Vinyl on Demand.
It’s a full time job being a has been.
@dj2mn just about sums it up

May 10, 2015
Oh yes, that was very well thought out. Fuck off.

.@dj2mn got an invite from SMJ to visit the Living Computer Museum in Seattle, pet some PDP’s. Coming?

May 14, 2015
*To be fair the best use of arts funding in Australia is a plane ticket. The most loved and funded Australian artist is Verdi.
* Now Brandis can fly out all his fav. Japanese noise artists to play a festival just like all the cool kids at school. “I’ll show them!” THANK GOD THE SILK FROCK COATS WILL BE SAFE.
*I signed the petition to euthanise Johnny Depp and so should you.

May 16, 2015
Working on this one today. The colour reproduction was never done right, despite Pantones & it’s faded. It’s supposed to match the colours of a particular Belgian postage stamp which is somewhere in several tonnes of depressing archive shit.

May 19, 2015
This tweet is for sale! It could be yours. Enquire now!

May 21, 2015
*Let’s settle this. Jay Z and Marina Abramović with boxing gloves, first to a knock down. Or they could wedge money in each other’s mouth. Bum Fights are so old. Let’s start Vain Celebrity Artist Scuffles. It makes reading about these assholes less tedious.
*We’re missing a rare opportunity to know what kind of wanker Bin Laden was. I’m going for Jihad Brony. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/may/20/osama-bin-laden-porn-stash-remain-under-wraps-us-intelligence-decides You’d think Bin Laden would have put it in untitled folder/untitled folder/jihad/planning/stuff that way the CIA would never find it. Anyway, did anyone else get the sponsored tweet from Tidal, immediately block it and feel like a good day’s work done?
*I just visited our analogue video synthesiser room. Ian Andrews has moved all his crap in and it’s wall to wall what the hell is this cable. Best thing is, right in the middle is a Kawai 100F synthesiser somehow generating synthetic visuals. Even Ian doesn’t know WTF. I call a space completely filled with TV innards, cables and boxes that have ABC CONTROL ROOM on them making wiggy coloured shit a SUCCESS.
*Gonna ring up Brandis and ask is this or this not excellence. You know it is.
*When I go to hell, it will be an endless TEDx.

May 23, 2015
DIY Polybius. http://www.sinnesloschen.com/1.php
Polybius buzzkill. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polybius_(urban_legend)
Tour videos under way. Guess the track.
Note to 1982 self – will you please turn that fucking snare down. Thank you.

May 24, 2015
“Before you can buy our software you must join our service with the password that we will constantly fail to send to you.”
Alright yanks. You get one song request. Choose wisely.

May 26, 2015
At Vivid praying over a broken projector and fuck microHDMI. God intended video to travel down thick black cables with bayonet plugs. Particularly in public screening.

May 28, 2015 Music
Trying to find the episode of the TARZAN TV series featuring an evil midget, just because, well I might need it for something I’m working on
This is all there is. Not looking hopeful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-XT6ffAkSs
Nice to put a face to a scream. YOU TOLD ALEX YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE ME IN THE VILLAGE

May 29, 2015
all the diseases are created with computer

May 30, 2015 Music
“Clean” album reproduction ready for Vinyl On Demand. Doesn’t look it but completely rebuilt including the spine art.

So now onto this Frankenstein.

Jun 2, 2015
*You know you’ve ‘made it’ when schizoid rambling is CC’d to Obama, the head of CIA and me. I don’t quite know what the ‘it’ is just yet.
*’My art/industry linkage connects weapons, GM biotech, pharmaceuticals, private prisons & tax avoidance with my little folded paper boats.’
*Arnold just realised the cab is being driven by robot Tony Abbott.

Jun 4, 2015
We have our 1st guide to George Brandis Art definition: Is/is not Benny Hill. https://www.smh.com.au/public-service/the-man-is-obviously-not-benny-hill-dfat-official-counselled-after-april-fools-prank-20150603-ghfn5z.html
I feel bad, but I have to tell you there’s a https://www.gog.com/en/ sale going on. You can hate me later.

Jun 5, 2015 University Work
*Why interactive music is the ‘next big thing’. Again. (Money as always) https://www.smh.com.au/technology/google-maps-cofounder-lars-rasmussen-on-why-interactive-music-is-the-next-big-thing-20150604-ghge07.html
*Session 1 at the Faculty of Art and Design struggled fiercely but been forced backwards into the volcano where it has finally died screaming. I stand, bloodied, shaken, but filled with triumph. I made it. I lived. I survived yet another teaching term. Call the chopper. The camera tracks in slowly, ominously, to the vibrant jungle. There, small mischievous eyes peer out from the darkness. Session 2 awaits. BTW it’s only 3 and a half years to the 2019 world shown in Blade Runner.
*Really enjoying ‘Path To Thalamus’. Good anti-game, very filmic and trippy. I’d like to reach this quality. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBHO77OeB0M

Jun 9, 2015 University Work
*I expect to do the same for Apple ‘Connect’ as I did with ‘Ping’. Forget it exists by about midday. Whether it’s Apple or Spotify paying me .00001c a play, does it really matter?
*As always I’m amazed how many grandmothers fall ill when final essays are due. Some even die. Repeatedly. A 3000 word email on why they were truly honestly unable to complete their 3000 word essay. Research paper into the Dead Grandmother/Exam Syndrome. http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume5/v5i6/GrandmotherEffect%205-6.pdf

Jun 10, 2015
This is what USA money should look like. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Educational_Series#/media/File:US-%245-SC-1896-Fr.270.jpg Giant pissed off angels with electric zappers. 5 days now writing up weird rumours/ world glitches found in computer games, many fakes, but lots of actual strangeness that combines into its own reality. About 15,000 words and haven’t touched the bottom. Seems a virtual world needs to be haunted to be complete.

Jun 11
Garry Bradbury has been killed in a horrible truck accident. Strangely I was told this by Garry Bradbury.
*Here was I thinking that using a Global Broker was going to make Australian Customs easier. ha. ha ha. HAHAHAHAHHHAAAAArgh fuck it.
*Speaking of Bradbury as one does… here is a thing. https://www.vod-records.com/-1-432-522.htm
*BREAKING: Christopher Lee rises again, must be forced back to death with a crucifix.

Jun 12 University Work
Graduation day. Time to put on my funny costume and walk very solemnly into a hall. In early to get a big hat. Nothing worse than being in front of a thousand parents with a pin hat. I have applauded all of fine arts & commerce & now need an ice bucket.
There, I made it fit in the case. Happy now?

Jun 14 Music
German label is upset that all my made up bullshit cassette track names don’t exist and insists they all appear in the authentic reissue LP. Somebody at Discogs will email to say that FartyKlunkPiddles is 3’11” on their original K7 and the LP version is only 3’10”
Also… want to hear something really scary? – – Dolby C.

Jun 15 Music
Incoming insane and threatening emails from the USA. Must be a tour coming up. Looking forward to meeting these people. 💩 Maybe I could intro them all, and they could stalk and threaten and have phantom pregnancies with each other. Make a good TV show.

Jun 16 University Work
Bloody hell get me another ice bucket. Graduation number 2 down.

Jun 17 University Work
New work laptop. What an adorably small hard drive! And no ethernet. Sure glad all the connectors have changed. Insanely great.

Jun 19
Australian government to investigate health issues with wi-fi, may shut down internet.
Wish Australia had a confederate flag. I mean it’s got just about everything totally shitful.
@frenchbloke I had the entire set of fast product once upon a time. All stolen now.

Jun 20
Bloody hell, my fridge is full of terrorists again! Get out you bastards, go get your own milk! Australia these days, Jesus.

Jun 21 Early AI
The greatest piece of computer generated art ever made. By Google’s pattern recognition system.

Jun 22
‘Atoms’ are just bullshit that scientists made up to get more funding. Ever seen an atom? Me neither. #wakeupsheeple

Jun 23
Army base next door: WHOOP WHOOP! LOCK DOWN! LOCK DOWN! WHOOP WHOOP! LOCK DOWN! LOCK DOWN! Either a party or zombies going on in there. If it’s serious business the black helicopters get going in and out, so I reckon this one’s just an armed services panty raid.
Zaky Mallah: I stand by what I said on Q&A. Australia needs to hear it http://t.co/OxBaxhjQnX Plain talk that the creeps don’t want to hear.

Jun 24

TODAY’S TRUE OZZIE FEAR LIST Muslims Gays ‘Scientists’ Blackfellas Uppity Womenfolk Greens are OK at the moment. http://t.co/xHJNcGtmBc
This video looks shit, is shit and I am a shit person for making it (deletes the files, sighs, and starts again). I hate this tour already.

Jun 25
*A royal commission into royal commissions into royal commissions into royal commissions into royal commissions into make it stop please into
*Excuse me, place yourself in the ocean if you don’t mind. http://t.co/alFUT50cpo Daily Mail signs deal with Dr Phil

Jun 27 Music
*Again somebody “didn’t know how to contact me because I’m not on Facebook”. Amazing life tip: http://t.co/i6G3sD17ui
*As lovely as it is to see these again, how the hell do you play these back in 2015? http://t.co/YTzGThjEB2 I guess somebody has a 30ips 2 inch tape 24 track in their back shed somewhere.

*All Saints Day USA video underway at last. Found a style to connect with 1988 version. Motion capture + 3D composite
*Drinking gin and reading physics articles I don’t understand. Then again, no one understands singularities, gin or no gin. Yeah. Where the fuck is all the antimatter? Baryogenesis my arse.

Jun 29 University Work
Trying to sort out an Epub / iBooks problem, just want to confirm that people on Apple Support Communities are total arseholes. You can bet I am going to use ‘third party tools’, and teach them, and promote them, you fruit-themed sack of fedoras.

Jul 1
Broken phone line, no internet. HTF do people use a tiny mobile phone screen to do anything? #mypooreyesbleeding #kidsthesedays

Jul 2
Wish I knew what to do with that Google code so I could make my own dogfaced car mushroom arts. #stupidenduser

Jul 3
New cable between my house and the local exchange and I AM THE NOW THE INTERNET GOD. (hey this must be what other people get).

Jul 4
Go on, could be you. Last minute search for showgirl could see young males invited to apply https://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-07-03/miss-showgirl-needed-for-mt-gravatts-100th-show/6592252
2016 we reach peak curator.
Is it bad I was reading this, saw ‘Nick Cave’ and mentally ticked the Gotta Suck box? https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2015/jun/29/station-to-station-doug-aitken-barbican-review It’s just that Nick Cave is the “Comes With Chips” to every arts festival. Along with Obligatory Japanese Noise Band. Actually I want to start a OJNB. The festival circuit could do with a one stop solution.

Jul 6
Well that Google dog thing just jumped the shark big time. Better pretend I was never really that interested. Not me, no sir.

Jul 9 Stacy Glasier suicides
Thank you all for the kind words. Every day is a little easier.

Jul 12
OK. I’m going to start shooting a reboot of my life on 35mm using practical effects. This new version will be awesome.

Jul 14

Jul 16, 2015
*If the quality of a wake is measured by the sickness the day after, that was an excellent wake. Let’s not do that again too soon.
*I think these Coles people aren’t quite right in the head.

Jul 18

Jul 19, 2015
*The most interesting questions are those Richard Dawkins can’t answer. He’s like a guru of the trivial.
*Couldn’t sleep well last night cause I kept wondering what a quarkscrew might do. This seemed very important at the time.

Jul 20, 2015
*When did the USA become a place where Trump could be the leading GOP candidate? You were such a nice place back in the day.
*Comic Sans goes where other fonts fear to tread.

Jul 22

Jul 26, 2015 Synthesisers
Do THIS with software instruments! (Drops 19″ rack on foot, screams, tumbles helplessly down stairs). #authentic
#wood_ends Some idiot decided to move the equipment upstairs. Somebody that wants to mess with gravity. Gravity doesn’t like electronic music.

Jul 28, 2015 Music
USA Tour T-Shirts are happening! The Hot With Fleas Knives! Fucken’ Eh! From Atom Age Industries.
Hey @dj2mn what size shirt? We’ll have to beta test these.
Google minus

Jul 29, 2015
*Philip Morris is suing Australia over plain cigarette packaging. The fag hanging out your mouth pays for it. Would you put it out?
*I’m pitching a TV show where they feed dentists to lions, I reckon Channel Ten will go for it. We’ll lure the dentists with cash.

Jul 30 Abdication of an arsehole

THIS IS MY SORRY FACE http://t.co/AcZoGS42SR
“I AM VERY SORRY you peasant scum.”

Aug 1 University Work
The day somebody makes a free Photoshop clone, my uni can finally fight Adobe on equal terms. All else is available. (No, not GIMP)
@dj2mn I think your ‘ta’ might be Phoneme disc ‘UnvS1-0333’ https://www.rhythmicrobot.com/product/emulator-ii-universe-of-sounds-vol-1

Aug 2 Music
Our show in Los Angeles has sold out. I guess somebody is taking this shit seriously.
A reboot of They Live should be in Frisco and all the aliens wearing Google Glasses (they’re coming baaaaaaack).
Ditch yourself Bitch.

Aug 4
You’re a lovely person but stop doing thirty fucking tweets in a row or it gets the hose.
People here don’t know how CB Radio is supposed to work. Need to watch “Smokey and the Bandit” again for instruction.

Aug 5
Saw ‘Kardashian Kids’ advertised on the side of a bus. I think they’re a bit young to be filming sex tapes, but maybe I’m old fashioned.

Aug 6 Music
For the USA fan that made the request, yes I am making sure the drums are ‘fucking loud and awesome’. Been doing that all week. But if the drums are too FL&A you have also make the bass FL&A and the sequences as well and at some point the PA blows up. You understand.

Aug 7
Please to advise on beer. Thank you!

Aug 8
6.45AM tradies arrive, talkback radio. 7AM EXPLOSIONS & GRINDING THAT RAISE THE DEAD 7.20AM cup a tea 8AM vague tapping & footy til 4PM

Aug 9 Synthesisers
My heart says yes, my mind says no.

You too can read this article & feel utterly inadequate because your mind is too feeble to understand any of it. https://t.co/3R6kbcFYmT

Aug 10 Music
The Clifford has landed.

Aug 11
Google –> Alphabet –> Soup.

Aug 12
Thanks Mr President! #Not_An_IslamoFascist
I understand I am still subject to random drone strikes and fingerprinting.

Aug 13
I could look at the bottom right corner for weeks and still not be sure.

Aug 14 Synthesisers
The MOOG Voyager is not a keyboard, it’s a logic puzzle with 9 trim pots.
So strange hearing this thing vaguely in tune. Wonder how long that will last. Sunny day? Butterfly lands on it? Better leave the back off

Aug 16
*Gonna ride in that DeLorean someday.
*Scottish Defiance! The council can go get deep fried! https://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-08-16/home-of-deep-fried-mars-bars-defies-council-over-banner/6696620
*Sounds like the NYC show is either full or there’s two of them or maybe a puppet show I am not sure I thought Rough Trade was a shop?

Aug 19 Music
.@dj2mn can you learn how to play this by tonight? Thanks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnQdP03iYIo

Aug 20
Morrissey in The Guardian! Has it been a whole month already? If only I was all young, naive and giddy with dreams I might believe in Jeremy Corbyn. Bless you if you do. The latest belch of populist fervour in Australia gave us this. (I voted Trotskyist in case you’re wondering).

Good Evening. Here is the latest news. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WoFyN1R-1g

Aug 22, 2015 Music
*San Fran gig seems to be gently closing the doors. Seattle still a bit disinterested, you authentic grunge rockists you. Sigh. Really should have had a heavy guitar based period like every other ‘industrial band’. Couldn’t be arsed.
*20th century art – steals from other cultures.
21st century art – steals from other times.

Aug 23, 2015
I would like remind everybody that the online Seeburg 1000 exists.
https://seeburg1000.com/

Aug 25, 2015 Music
And now all the gig videos are complete and resequenced. #thefinalclowndown

Aug 26, 2015
.@earthrid Embrace, Expand, Extinguish.

Aug 29, 2015
Right. Time to act decisively. I need a committee to set out the ongoing guidelines for tidying this room. This pile of old books could do with an exploratory process which could advise on a list of actions that could taken. I’ll have to call a town hall meeting with the dust to see if it is aligned with my goals in terms of being vacuumed. I share your concerns re the gentrification of this bookshelf. I’ll preserve the cultural mix with a set quota of useless dusty objects.

Aug 30, 2015 Music
5 tickets left in San Francisco, or so I am led to believe.

Sep 1, 2015
Please for the love of god stop adding me to your art gallery’s mailing list. I’m a media lecturer. I’m busy. I get 1000 mails already. New marketing manager: “I know! We’ll just add every art academic we can find to mailchimp! That’s a strategy!”

Sep 2, 2015
*Design Thinking news: New Google logo looks like every other web 2.0 logo from the last decade, took 100+ people to design it.
*Rule 34

Sep 2, 2015
‘Better Dead Than Head” dead album complete. Has 14 dead versions from 2010 – 2015. Available at gigs in September. Details follow.

Sep 3, 2015 Music
To be entirely clear, the dead album will be generally available when we are back in our coffin. Show people get it earlier.
Thanks to @Chris_Randall for the reminder!
You can send money to me https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/ellard
Lots of fun! Open to everyone! Try it out!

Sep 4, 2015
President Xi Jinping lays down fully sick beatboxing solo in specially designed People’s Rapmobile, Beijing Sept. 3rd

Sep 6, 2015
Found a way to warm the house AND get rid of some of these extra books.

Sep 8
Game needs a 1st person view inside a train. Don’t want to code for the movement? Solution – make the train a hat. http://t.co/uj6rCx1cco

Sep 11, 2015
heh free code gone! That free code got hit from Los Angeles and the UK at the same time. Hmmm, next time put it up for 5 seconds or something.
I am more New Media than you’ve had hot meals. http://t.co/UYBcCWjX8i

Sep 12, 2015
*Now available for Eurorack!
https://www.jaycar.com.au/useless-box/p/GT3706
*Kind of amazed that there’s been very little 9/11 chatter going on today. Usually USA goes weird in the head around now.
*I feel a code give away coming on. Let’s make this a bit challenging. What is Barbara’s middle name? 1st correct answer wins.

Sep 13, 2015
*Lets have a free album give away. In a few minutes time.
“Do you like being a ?” “Yah, I do. I like being a .”
1st correct reply wins.

Game over. The answer is ‘a celebrity’. From ‘Clifford Darling’ side D.
Let’s try again, easier.
‘try to think of _ lying in a telephone booth’.

1st correct answer wins.

Sep 13, 2015
Man gets 5GHz wireless extender working in Man Cave. Beats chest, makes Tarzan call. OOOoooo00000oooooaaargh.

Sep 14, 2015
*I fully support Tony Abbott as prime minister all the way to the complete annihilation of the LNP. Having Turnbull as PM is changing the label on a tin of shit to read ‘ice cream’. I’d rather the tin said ‘shit’ VOTE 4 TONY!
*Last practice done. Time to start packing, ready or not. One more time unto the breach. Or close the wall up with our dead.
*The battle between Shit Ice Cream and Ice Cream Shit is looking very close, which is exactly what you’d want to keep them plunging
Ice Cream Shit wins!

Bad day for fans of bumbling fuckwits.
It’s amazing how fast this got updated.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_prime_ministers_of_Australia_by_time_in_office

Sep 15, 2015
*”a nation that is agile, that is innovative, that is creative” new PM talks university management language 🙁
*Buys cheap phone for travel, discovers that it’s more powerful than the expensive one I bought 3 years ago, shakes his cane at cloud.
* Oh BTW who’s been tie-dying USA currency? You guys actually have different coloured notes like all the grown up countries! #beenawhile
*Last give away: The last Severed Heads release was Op3. The last track was how many Elton Johns? 1st correct answer wins.

Sep 16, 2015 Music
WHAT A COINCIDENCE! Two new vinyls just happened to appear.
Well look at that. A whole trunk full of T Shirts for some reason.

Sep 18, 2015 North American Tour
We are in Frisco, alive, been awake 24 hours so far. @dj2mn will do the updates.
Yep. It’s the US.

Sep 19, 2015
What happens when you twitter Twitter?

Sep 20, 2015
The hotel decor in LA is a perfect mix of grandma’s house & Indian take away.

Sep 21, 2015 Music
*We decided that if Gary Numan came to the gig we’d have him lift the curse. But curse remains intact, although he sent a howdy.
*Great to finally catch with DJ Lance Rock, we must plot some batshit collaboration.

Sep 23, 2015 Music
You’all are sleeping in TEXAS now

Sep 24, 2015 Music
*Why the fuck did I check my work email? It’s like opening the Hell Gate in DOOM and I’ve been gone one. frikk’n. week.
*Dawn at Austin airport. I am just so filled with joy of life. You could bottle it. Actually the TSA did the check without needing to remove belt shoes laptops all them cables and no all body scan. Is this a holy day?

Sep 25, 2015 Music
*Safely ensconced on Brooklyn, protected by highways on 3 sides. Noodle off to the back doctor after that jerking thing he was doing in TX.
*Maybe they can surgically remove that frikken phone at the same time.
*Just our regular reminder that Severed Heads does not have a Facebook page and you aren’t actually following us.
*I just put the pope on the guest list.
*Was nice to show the video with the Chrysler building in view of the Chrysler building.
*People keep crying at our shows. It’s disconcerting.

Sep 26, 2015 Music
*Yes. Fucking Hilton in Tampa. SCORE. Look at that goddamn bed. It’s a stage for megabody honeymooners. I mean it’s surely a prop from a documentary about a 400 pound princess.
Of course get a decent room and it’s straight to the venue. Dammit.

Sep 27, 2015 Music
Chicago! Courtesy basket! Dipping pretzels? Just heard from Chris Connolly that I wrote finitribe a rejection letter from Ink records back in 1985. Small world/dressing room.
OK USA we’re all done, thanks for the hospitality. I’ve a day in Chicago doing jack then I’ll blog the gossip once I get back home.

Sep 28, 2015 Music
*Having met again with Bill Leeb and Kevin Cey, its evident vertical ÷ horizontal body mass = industrial stage presence & I ain’t got a hope. Unless there is a variant called midget industrial and if there wasn’t there now is.
*If you own a bunch of US synthesisers this here is pure gold. (From CVS the only pharmacy I’ve seen that sells grog)

Garry Bradbury says due to ‘appalling fuckings around’ on the mastering of his vinyl 2LP retrospective on VOD he’s making it available here on Bandcamp.
https://t.co/GoW7Y8pzMl

Sep 30, 2015
After 22 hours of TSA, gates, and turbulence I am back in Sydney. i feel like a cat vomited a hairball into my brain case. 1st meeting @ 3pm

Oct 1, 2015
Oh yeah? I’m going to add you to list FlushThisScammyShitDownTheToilet

Oct 2, 2015
Having just seen some photos of us performing I’m envious of Autechre playing in the dark.

Oct 3, 2015
tdy i s int.n/l tl/k l-k AUtechre dy

Oct 4, 2015
@dj2mn hey guess what the Civic Center Motor Inn has a bad reputation for charging credit cards according to The Internet

Oct 5, 2015
“After exhaust comes out of a gasoline engine, the air is actually cleaner than the background air in Chicago,” Hillebrand said.

Oct 6, 2015
TPP agreement made – USA drug co.s get 5-8 years of price gouging. USA still disappointed. But tobacco co.s can’t sue over anti-smoking laws
It’s like a 21st century version of the Opium Wars, except everyone has a nice suit.

Oct 10, 2015 Music
So, what should SH do next? I have no idea – I thought maybe we could crowd source it. #disruption_unicorns
*Culling my CD collection, wonder why we ever put up with so much lame crap with little clicking noises sprinkled over it
*Sometimes I feel a bit down. Then I remember I have this picture and everything seems OK again.

Oct 11, 2015 University Work
Tomorrow’s lecture: ‘Valley Girl’ vs. ‘Factory Girl’. The mix tape soundtrack that once declared ‘now’ has become ‘then’.

Oct 12, 2015 University Work
One of those days where the line between teaching and waitering was very sorely tested.
I think I’ll have me a G&T. Make that several.

Oct 13, 2015 Music
Utmost respect to the band/person/thing that inspired Severed Heads to start making sounds in 1979. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmvRy55jeyQ
You will buy this record or I hate you. https://feedingtuberecords.bandcamp.com/album/flee-pasts-ape-elf

Oct 16 Music
“In Memoriam Gilles Deleuze” is the most embarrassingly pretentious compilation of little clicky noise music & fuck me for buying it. Sleeve notes or music worse? I don’t know. But it sums up all that is wretched about late 90’s art gallery music. How fucking depressed must I have been back then to crawl into Red Eye buy this, and feel that I had to catch up with the zeitgeist. In the microwave with this.

Oct 18
*Two pictures of Daphne Oram in one week. Look out Twitter you’re getting a tad too excited.
*If you’re not too busy; a speech about the economics of being too busy. TL/DR: stop adding tasks in slack time. As you become increasingly annoyed by the terrible video recording from LSE, begin to understand what I teach at UNSW.
*Tomorrow’s film lecture: The horror film turns the journey around – the underworld comes to the hero. With clips from Herzog’s Nosferatu.
*Tomorrow’s 1st year lecture: Computer games don’t actually want to be art – The art industry wants to possess computer games.

Oct 20
*With Jazz, the best thing is to douse the whole area with petrol and lob a Molotov cocktail into the conflagration. Shoot any escapees.
*Thought Leadership.
Disruptive Thought Leadership
in a Strategic Matrix with Global Impact
With Sustainability
and chips.
Beer battered thought leadership with strategic matrix of chips and a side salad of global impact vinaigrette. I think I need to to eat.

Oct 21
Every nation gets to have their own Kevin Rudd Christ and looks like it’s Canada’s turn. So who’s in the shadows?

Oct 22 Music
Asked why I am not on Spotify. Answer – same reason I’m not chained to a sewing machine in Bangladesh. “we personally view “per stream” metrics as a highly flawed indication of our value to artists” because it’s more than 0. – Spotify.
WILL EXCHANGE “EXPOSURE ON STREAMING SERVICES” FOR A CUP OF COFFEE.
Australia bribes Disney and 20thC Fox $47m to film in Australia. The local industry would die from shock if it got that much help.

Oct 24
*Felt sore about YouTube Red until I realised it will fail miserably, like 90% of what Google has tried over the years. No one is actually going to pay for anything on YouTube. It’s a car trunk full of stolen goods and knock off watches.
*Damn, toilet seat technology has made leaps and bounds since my last purchasing decision. #excitedabouttolietseats. This toilet seat has an eject button and a soft close function. #toiletseatsleadinginnovationpractices
*At the mall, a band playing Chris Issak covers to shoppers. Looked a little closer and it was Chris Issak. Waiting for Puppet Show.

Oct 25
The current doubleplusgood duckspeak. Emulate it. Introduce it to your daily life. Love it. Good academic. https://www.theage.com.au/technology/australia-can-be-the-startup-and-innovation-nation-under-new-prime-minister-malcolm-turnbull-20151022-gkfrff.html

Oct 27
*I need something that can handle HD video and live 3D together, responds to MIDI and works on PC. Mac is better but price is insane.
*Writing something myself in Max or something – I would rather slide down a forest of razorblades.I don’t do remixes. Here’s some. No rhyme or reason.

Oct 28
I’ve been collecting LEGO for Germaine Greer and/or Cecil the lion, where do I send them? Mostly pirates, but some wheels.
@dj2mn well that’s that then: https://community.vuo.org/t/load-and-play-animated-3d-meshes/4986 but then again: https://v002.info/plugins-sources/v002-model-loader-beta/ depends how long QC lives on

Oct 30
Can somebody please link the small children playing Kraftwerk I haven’t seen it for at least half an hour. Maybe several links in a row. Ta!

Oct 31
My Halloween costume is a 90’s Intelligent Dance Music 2CD by a Genius DJ with a rotating spiky Cyber Donut on the front called ‘Gstk3 Blex’

Nov 1
If you do anything artistic don’t come to New South Wales, we hate that sort of shit here. Writers, film makers, painters get out. Mate, that gallery space would make a nice block of flats. That’s poetry right there mate.
Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch BUMPING UGLY, that’s my Halloween decoration right there, ye Gods. https://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/oct/31/rupert-murdoch-and-jerry-hall-appear-together-in-public It must be his abs.

Nov 4
“Reminiscence Bumps and Favorite Music.”

Nov 4
Well meant & all, but wish they’d stop sending me the Support After Suicide newsletter. Articles about Your Miserable Lonely Xmas not great. Wonder if their meetings are like AA and everyone goes there to get laid.
Probably not.

Nov 8
@phantomcircuit interesting but seriously too fucking long, clouding the points it was making

Nov 9 Music
Rhine : Cross Beacon https://t.co/dyZHv3OGCM The treasure has not yet been claimed.
Rhine : Waves Beacon (2 of 5) https://t.co/kPnWegSc2P Something very dark. Treasure not claimed yet. Rhine : Square Beacon (3 of 5) https://t.co/RzXWdRLmQN USB drives are coming back.

Nov 10 Music
I’m not sure how I can honestly assess a vaporwave album, seeing as it’s nostalgic for an era which seemed futuristic at the time.
Student: “The Minds Eye” on VHS!!!
Me: yes.

Nov 11
*Forget the ‘human interest’ bullshit for a moment and make sure you know about this tax fight https://www.theage.com.au/business/the-economy/transparency-is-best-tonic-for-multinational-tax-avoidance-20151111-gkvt5x.html
Going to the funeral for Metro Screen tonight. We have a long video history with place. But NSW hates art making, no bucks in it. Angry words @ Metro about ’emerging film makers’ and how many ‘feature films’ used to be made under ‘Film Australia’. Awful lot of ‘film’…
*Going to hang a sign ALL COUPLES DRUNKENLY ARGUING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW AGREE TO BE RECORDED FOR A SHITTY CONCEPT ALBUM because fuck that noise

Nov 13
*You ask where I get my lyrics from. Wonder no more. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-11-13/otto-the-skating-bulldog-breaks-world-record-human-tunnel/6937394
*Film composer Walter Murch talks complete bullshit, but hey it’s thought provoking.
*There’s a depressing tendency for decent artists to shove a bit of STEM up their jumper, trying to play the current culture game.

Nov 15 Music
Somebody figured out a large slab of the treasure map 🙂 There’s much more interesting shapes to fly into than triangles!

Nov 16, 2015
#PrayForThatOtherThingThatHappenedRecentlyTo224RussiansDoTheyCountAsMuchAsFrenchPeople
*Oh now look, you’ve made Madonna cry. #CelebrityFeelings
(can we have some actual news please)

Nov 17, 2015 University Work
*I mark students. Students mark me. Head of School reviews everyone. Followers favourite my tweet. Death comes for us all.
*Off the background of a 2nd year video they’d pinned a Severed Heads poster surrounded by girlie pin ups. I’ll get you, you little buggers.
*So I wonder what the scam is here, and do you get to keep your kidneys? (eBay link)

Nov 19, 2015
16Gb SODIMM RAM from computer shop $230.
16Gb SODIMM RAM from Apple store $640.
The latter comes wrapped in fresh unicorn shit?

Nov 19, 2015
@LavinaLoren fortunately for me the videos are copyright ‘under the act’ and nope.

Nov 20, 2015 University Work
*We’re having an open night! https://www.unsw.edu.au/arts-design-architecture/our-schools/art-design
*In case you are wondering, yes you do have to wear motion capture costume at all times on campus.
*If you’ve a bot that auto-likes this mention of ‘start up venture capital funding incubator’, you’ve just outed yourself as bad at your job.

Nov 22, 2015 Music
“Hello I am DJ. Always I love the techno music. Small expensive thing in hotel could write music on tour. Here I perform with thing. Buy.”

Nov 23, 2015
*The PM is the loudest voice in a chorus of ‘innovation’ ‘hi tech’ ‘STEM’ which sounds an awful lot like New Media Nostalgia. Inside this…… probably looks like Amiga wireframe graphics and Pepsi adverts. The arts future probably looks a lot like https://hackaday.io/project/4434-pidp-8x2fi
*Buckle up and pull out the old Digi-View colour wheel, we’re going back in for a second round.
*Mathematicians cannot understand 500 page proof developed over 20 years by Japanese researcher. https://www.quantamagazine.org/hope-rekindled-for-abc-proof-20151221/
Not by Borges.

Nov 25 Music
The Stretcher sleeve is a nightmare. Thirty years old, damaged, faded, MOULDY it’s taking many hours of hand retouching.

Nov 26
Up he teð, til ðat he ðe heuene seð, ðurȝ skies sexe and seuene til he cumeð to heuene. https://quod.lib.umich.edu/c/cme/CME00035/1:20.6?rgn=div2;view=fulltext
@earthrid I’ve heard of Heaven 17, but Skies 6 and 7 are new to me.
* Special deal for Black Friday you have shout GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE in high pitched talk-to-cat voice if you buy anything of mine thanks.

Nov 27 Doctorate
Radio interview with the great old man Thomas Wilfred, with advice for all light musicians. (yes he’s very spacey). https://www.wnyc.org/story/thomas-wilfred-and-art-light/
@rasurc laffo if you use NTSC. particularly in 2015

Nov 29
What sort of culture have we engendered, where the young see mushrooms as a great way to finish that PeopleSoft UI by Friday? Utter Failure. I’m going to go get me some Cat5, string it up my stairs and accept the fact that I am going to die alone. Wait, this cable doesn’t have plugs on the end. Fuck, anyone got a cat5-plug-put-on-the-ender? I am an embarrassment to my peer group.

Nov 30
Blue Edison cylinders for extra fidelity.
If you do this RJ45 plug cable ‘push 8 coloured things into another thing and try again’ for a living, you have the patience of Job.

Dec 1 Synthesisers
Sorry Roland Australia. Cancelled the local order (ETA late January) for an eBay (ETA next week). Maybe manage distribution better?
#standwithstandingwiththings
Bullshit

Dec 2 Synthesisers
Novation Seasonal Giveaway 2015 I’m tweeting this to help win even more equipment, I am an addict.
Almost there. Days of retouching, and the grey is now warm grey, the blue is all blue and the mould spots gone.

Dec 3
*Spent all night lying awake thinking over a Policy Discussion Document.
I’ve reached rock bottom. Mind you, there’s bad shit on pg.3.
*I’ll regret saying this, but the next mass shooting should happen at the NRA and suddenly things will happen. Sorry for that.
.@dj2mn Officially, you now have 10 months to learn this phrase: piwo poproszę

Dec 5
*Only 2 of us @ the post UNSW Annual Screening binge drinking debauch, but by God we did it proud. Ex Ad men both, and shameless. One that has worked in advertising can only truly let down their guard to another equal in guilt and remorse. I was a studio manager.
Well done.

Dec 6
*Russian priests pose with pet cats in hit calendar https://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-12-06/russian-priests-pose-with-pet-cats-in-hit-calendar/7004870 via @ABCNews
*Fuck DELL and fuck any manufacturer that mounts the HDD under the motherboard. #complete_disassembly https://t.co/DKvEEE3D59 DELL: “Hey we can save 2c if we don’t put an access door to a crucial component here!” Next door Apple is taking notes.

Dec 8 Music
Kinda sorta getting there with the gatefold sleeve. The small images on the inner sleeve not working yet.

Dec 9
*I would like to assure my 2 listeners I am not so f.pretentious that I’m dumping every single live recording on some download dumpster.
*Would like to point out UNSW scored top of the charts in Digital Media research beating every other Australian uni AGAIN. #biggestTVwins

Dec 13
This has been the biggest year ever for something that shut down in 2008, and next year even looking more biggerest.

Dec 15
How people feel about music? LETS MAKE A CHART FROM BRAIN SCANS! Now we know for sure!

Dec 15
Finally picked up the slide projectors & controllers. 35mm film – high res but low frame rate.

Dec 18
Between Martin Shkreli being arrested and Spectrasonics going download I am having a fine Christmas. More Xmas: Philip Morris fails attempt to sue Australia for plain cigarette packaging. Poor little drug pushers.
Love it when David Bowie lays another LP. Moves the ‘ancient’ clock along another year for the rest of us.

Dec 19
Something about a 1 off Star Wars VHS that Pharma Bro bought for 88 years and hasn’t bothered to watch yet = the entire internet. Best Fucking Xmas pt3. Gov to spend $1 billion on hepatitis C cures. Helps so many.

Dec 20
Got my 1st ‘why do you hate America?’ letter in such a very long while. Hello old friend, nice to see you again.
I get told 18 hours later that :zoviet*france: played some of Terse Greetings here: https://t.co/9I157BecKm if you like “0 BPM music”

Dec 21
I find this hard soldered battery a triggering microagression. This MR rack is not a safe place.

God is great. Muslim battery in place, in a socket like we do in the Commonwealth.

Dec 22
So, do you miss Modernism yet?

Dec 23
Mathematicians cannot understand 500 page proof developed over 20 years by Japanese researcher. https://www.quantamagazine.org/hope-rekindled-for-abc-proof-20151221/ Not by Borges.
Right, you’re all getting this for Christmas. https://store.steampowered.com/app/359050/Shower_With_Your_Dad_Simulator_2015_Do_You_Still_Shower_With_Your_Dad/

Dec 24
What’s in the boooooOOOOOOOOOOX?!

Dec 26, 2015 Bruce Springsteen
*Bruce Springsteen neighbour blasts “Bruce Springsteen Live” with the volume of 1000 Hitlers. Flecks of Patriot Spittle rain down. In my dream Bruce emits 1 vast tubalation of toadal Americanimus, swelling to enormous size and exploding like a RedWhiteBlue flagoon. In the stadium audience Thom Yorke’s eyes mist at the promise of 10 concept albums based on this event.
*’It wasn’t the wine,’ murmured Mr Snodgrass, in a broken voice. ‘It was the salmon.’
*Third and final batch of Rhine Sticks.

Dec 27, 2015
*Ye Gods, please remove my sight, that I shall never suffer another smug idiot Guardian reader comment.
*Jaynes’ claim that Gods once lived in the right brain seems nuts, but is an excellent book if you can find it.
*And I’m back on the United bus to San Francisco in three weeks. Got an important meeting with some sea lions.

Dec 28, 2015 Scattering the ashes of my ex wife at her home.
If you are a sea lion on Twitter, your attendance is requested at a certain pier off Capitola, details to follow.

Dec 29, 2015 Music
In which the writer repeatedly drives her jeep over the sacred cows of ‘punk’ rock. https://thebaffler.com/salvos/punk-crock-williamson
‘post-punk’ is next.

Dec 30, 2015 Tom Gets Glasses
llooookkss lliikkee yyoouu mmiigghhtt hhaavvee aassttiiggmmaattiissmm lleettss ssee if these lenses correct it. Better?
Welcome to objects further than four meters away.

Dec 31, 2015
This is my new years resolution