Withe extra e’s on thee ende of everythinge.
Dear Tom, the other night I had a musical dream – I heard a beautiful sound like a thousand singing voices, golden and rhythmic, it had an amazing subtle melody and pulsed with joy and I was so very sad to to wake and feel the melody slip away from me. If only I could hear that music again. How can I have this dream come back to me?
– ‘Wagner’
Ye have woken thyself from SNORING so LOUD ye have verily BOXED thine own ears with the DIN of it. (Surely ye do not share a bed or the lady of the house would be VEXED to distraction). However to return the snores apply equal parts strong ale and curried meat pudding and be assured that thy very WALLS will shudder with thy musical eruptions.
Dear Wizard, only you can help me! I dream that I am walking down the street – but wearing no pants! Everyone is ignoring me.What does it mean?
– ‘Naked’
The BIBLE makes clear the wearing of pants is for GOOD CHRISTIAN FOLK and shalt not be mocked by animals that have NO SOULS. An animal may have the Waistcoat as its only garb, and leave the nether regions revealed to all to know it as a CREATURE.
Yet the TROUSERS are not suited to a BEASTE. And so in this dream we see thy FORETAIL flapping in the wind for all to see thy BESTIAL URGES. It is a dream of hidden lusts and ye should make haste for the confession box where the father will see about thine URGENT PENANCE.
Dear Old Chap, dreamed I ate a enormous marshmallow. The next morning my pillow was gone. Ideas?
– ‘Pillow Biter’
It would seem thine answer will soon be found in a FLUFFING of thy nether regions. If indeed this is not the ruse of one that liveth under a bridge!
Dear Tom, I have a constant recurring dream that I have failed to study for my mathematics exam – and the exam is happening today and I have no idea of how to answer anything. Then I realise that I am actually Chief Executive Officer at Bank of America and the exam was long ago! How do I stop this dream from playing over and over again?
– ‘Ken Lewis’
The mathematicals – being a saucy arte thrown hither and yon to the pleasure of he that maketh it – can used to pretend the mouse as the moon or the very reverse. And the dreame in this case works to reverse the nature of time. You are found at a reckoning WITLESS and empty of knowledge and so it is that ye write ERRORS in thy booke. YET the truth runs the other way and in life ye find thy booke fore ye with ERRORS already written. Now ye must ponder long and harde what WITLESSNESS brought thee to this place.
Dear Tom I dreamed I was sleeping with my mother. And I didn’t care.
– ‘Your Son’
Know that thy mother has this very day described a dream of shit-a-bed, and so DREAMES are shown to reveal GREAT TRUTHS.
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