How Irate

🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻 FIVE TOILET ROLLS – nothing is perfect, but much joy comes from this object. There is little difficulty in learning it. It has some special feature or ability that’s impressive and exciting and inspires you to explore musical ideas over the days and years to come.

🧻🧻🧻🧻 FOUR TOILET ROLLS – this is a good solid tool that you are really happy to own. Some things aren’t ideal, or involve unnecessary fussing with controls. But it has a distinct voice that will be part of your music making for a long time to come.

🧻🧻🧻 THREE TOILET ROLLS – It’s something that you regret just a little. Sure it works fine, does everything you might expect, but in a slightly grey and dull way. You make excuses for it and find it useful here and there. But if you ever had to move house it would be one of the things you could give up and feel OK about it.

🧻🧻 TWO TOILET ROLLS – this is a bit of a slog to use and it only does one or two things that are interesting – which you might sample before you sell it again. But then you might keep it through a sense of irony. A cautionary tale – a folly. “You want to see something a bit of a fail?”

🧻 ONE TOILET ROLL – this is not only a painful instrument to use, but the end result adds no joy to the universe. It’s not mind bogglingly awful – that would at least be interesting. No, it’s used up a tedious learning curve and given nothing back. Shun its existence.

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